Those once passionate convictions of my faith subside along with my smile and excitement to worship. It doesn’t mean I don’t love God. Nor does it mean I don’t trust Him a little still. It doesn’t mean I’ve lost my faith—or have given into the enemy’s schemes.
It means my spirit has paused.
Within the pause a deafening silence moves in. It’s a silence I can barely stand. Understand I never strive for this—it just happens. And I certainly would never strive to stop the numbness.
I must feel it.
I must let emptiness wrap around me and the deafening silence come over me. It’s part of the process. A process that must move at its own pace—one that should never be interrupted. I will not snap out of it, get over it, or even push through it. I will sit in the terrible painstaking silence from heaven and feel the numbness. I’m ok with that. Anything else would be an interruption of the holy work God wants to do.
So I sit. And I wait. As I feel the numbness.
This is the authentic life with God.
Have you ever felt numb?
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