No Pretending

I will not pretend.

The inkwell is dangerously close to being dried up.

How do I write when the ink is no more?

How does the pen flow with words to affect hope and healing when there is nothing to give?

I will not pretend.

If I believe this is writer’s block…

Then this—all this—is only about words on a screen.

It is more than that.

It’s about my soul journey.

I will not pretend.

I am the one empty…not the inkwell.

And yet, He knows this.

And I know He cares—deeply for me.

So what is He waiting for?

Why not fill me now, Lord?

I will not pretend.

I struggle with this.

I really do.

On the journey with you,

lk

How about you?

How do you fill the well of your soul when you feel depleted and empty?

Here or somewhere…be real.

Share your journey

Writing the Mess

I am just an ordinary woman wanting to make a difference in the world—

Somebody’s world.

I choose to be real and vulnerable for someone—

Anyone—

to be impacted by the extreme and relentless love of God.

My journey is no different than yours.

It’s messy.

In a life marked with both wrestling and surrendering to Jesus,

I find purpose.

I write of God’s pursuit to fully capture my heart.

My journey is no different than yours.

It’s messy.

It’s real.

I am just an ordinary woman wanting to make a difference in the world—

Your world.

lk

Feel the Numbness

Here’s the deal. Sometimes I go numb.

Those once passionate convictions of my faith subside along with my smile and excitement to worship. It doesn’t mean I don’t love God. Nor does it mean I don’t trust Him a little still. It doesn’t mean I’ve lost my faith—or have given into the enemy’s schemes.

It means my spirit has paused.

Within the pause a deafening silence moves in. It’s a silence I can barely stand. Understand I never strive for this—it just happens. And I certainly would never strive to stop the numbness.

I must feel it.

I must let emptiness wrap around me and the deafening silence come over me. It’s part of the process. A process that must move at its own pace—one that should never be interrupted. I will not snap out of it, get over it, or even push through it. I will sit in the terrible painstaking silence from heaven and feel the numbness. I’m ok with that. Anything else would be an interruption of the holy work God wants to do.

So I sit. And I wait. As I feel the numbness.

This is the authentic life with God.

Have you ever felt numb?

Here or somewhere…be real.

Share your journey.