Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Who Knew?

“No! It’s mine.”

Out of nowhere I heard the loud shout. “It’s mine, it’s mine, it’s mine’. I was shocked at the screams of greed. Where was it coming from? Surprised I heard it come from my own heart. The tug-o-war was on. Selfishness showed strength at the start, but soon it was losing its grip. Shamefully the battle was between me and the Lord. Or so I thought. I noticed He never picked up the other end of the rope. I was fighting and losing without His pull. This wasn’t meant to be a fight. And it wasn’t a game. It was a challenge to trust.

I looked into my wallet. Twenties filled it. I pulled one out. I felt the Lord’s presence near. I knew what was coming. His voice echoed in my ear.

 All of it.

All of it, Lord? This is crazy. With His presence near I allowed my will to break. Something was happening in my spirit and I couldn’t ignore it. I looked again in my wallet.  I knew what I must do. Like ripping a band aid off a wound I quickly grabbed the cash and walked to the offering bowl.

Approaching the collection plate for an anonymous family in need of food, a little hand tugged at me. I looked down and saw the face of a little girl. “Can I put it in?” she asked. Caught off guard by this strange request, I handed her the money believing the Lord sent courage to me in the form of this young child.

Back at my seat my head spun, overwhelmed by the last few minutes. To my surprise the Lord was not done. I heard His voice just as intensely as the first time,

Share what you’ve done.

I looked up at the pastor who encouraged testimonies from the microphone. My heart fluttered. ‘I can’t do this, Lord’. As familiar as I was with public speaking, it was never without a thoughtfully prepared script. Quickly my brain started to process to give reason to what happened, yet before I could engage my thoughts Holy Spirit wiped everything clear.

Trust Me.

Through tears and an unscripted spiel I confessed to the congregation my selfishness and decision to trust Him with everything—even money. Shaking, I took my seat again. The service concluded and soon after felt an ease in my spirit. I was able to catch my breath and decide it was all worth it.

But God wasn’t done yet.

This time He was speaking to another woman.

Before I ever left the sanctuary a woman approached me. Stretching her hand out to me she said, “The Lord said this is for you.” I looked at what was in her grip. It was an envelope--a thick envelope. It all began to click. I took a step back. “No” was all I could say. I was in shock. Why would this woman give up money to feed her family? That’s crazy. Convinced she had heard from God she did not relent. As stubborn as this woman was she had an unwavering trust in God.

That night I stood in my kitchen with my well stocked pantry holding an envelope stuffed with money. Guilt washed over me. If only I had known the family was present I would have never shared. The night was filled with regret. What I thought was a journey of trusting God, now led me to doubting His ways. Why Lord? Why did any of this happen?

The next day my husband woke me out of my depression. He had since learned the church filled the family’s pantry with food. This relieved me, but I was still stuck with an insane responsibility to do something “good” with this money. I was lost in my thoughts as my husband chattered excitedly about a seminar. “What are you talking about?” I finally asked.

My husband connected the dots.

A month earlier he came across an organization for speakers and writers. A seminar was scheduled up north and he believed it would be beneficial to God’s purpose in my life. It was an impossible idea. We had zero money to chase after dreams. Not to mention intentionally pursuing my dream translated into a life of taking risks, which meant possible failure. No, I preferred comfort and predictability. The only way I could appease my husband’s excitement was to suggest if God wants me there, He will provide the money.

The envelope held the very amount we needed—plus gas money for the trip.

Apparently, God wanted me there.

A few days later I sat in the company of other writers and speakers for a three day seminar. Wouldn’t you know it—it changed my life. It single handedly launched me further into my destiny and deepened my trust in the Lord in exponential ways.

Who knew giving my all would be multiplied and returned to me? Who knew my public confession would become a marker moment in my journey? Who knew a needy family would guide me to my future? Who knew I would grow weary of comfort and predictability? Who knew a desire would birth to risk for the sake of others. Who knew?

He knew. He knew all along.

Are you willing to take a risk to pursue God’s purpose in your life?
Trust Him. He will not disappoint.

This blog is dedicated to the relentless woman who invested into my destiny.
Thank you CLASSeminars who facilitated the Lord's great work in me.

Post your comment here and be entered to win an autographed copy Kathi Lipp’s new book The ME Project. It’s all about pursuing your God given dream.

Deadline to enter is midnight PST on Sunday, March 13, 2011
Winner will be posted in Comment section under this blog on Monday, March 14th


  1. Great post, Laura. I always enjoy reading your blog. I'm excited to see where God leads you in the future. :-)

  2. Great post - I know what you mean about "It's all mine" - reminds me of Bilbo Baggins and his obsession with the ring in the Lord of the Rings, and how the greed spread . . . there's always more to give whether it's money or time. I guess the challenge is to be obedient and faithful :)

  3. I lived those days, and am a personal witness to the days when the "SCRIPT" had to be just perfect. I know the before and after effects of Classeminars and your skill level. I have lived the "faith walk" with you and can say that I would not have it any other way. It has not been easy, but God has shown up again and again.

  4. I remember that story and enjoyed reading it again. God has really gifted you with so many talents. What a blessing you are to others.

  5. Laura, you never fail to amaze me with your writing! I think I know what your talking about, when it then turns in a totally different direction. Thanks for sharing what you are learning from our heavenly Father!

  6. Laura, thank YOU for your relentless pursuit of hearts fully turned toward God. Praise Him for not only walking that journey with you but facilitating it. What an inspirational story. Thank you for sharing it with me, for reaching out into the world with your message of hope and security in the Lord.

  7. God is great (and has crazy wonderful wild ways).

  8. RISK = exposure to the chance of injury or loss.

    And to some our RISKS are perceived as reckless but when the loving nudge comes from our God, we can not help but be moved to do as he asks because we trust that the outcome of it, will move us to a deeper intimate relationship and propel us further in the direction of our destiny.

    Thank you for taking the risk Laura. We have all benefited from your willingness.

  9. Laura,
    It is not always easy to follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit in our lives. I, like you, am thankful for the times the nudging won out and produced many rewards

  10. I love it!!! I love the faithfulness of our God! I can so relate. Why is it that so many areas are so easily surrendered but somehow we (I) look at our (my) money or wallet and say "mine." Yet God is so faithful to remind us that it is all His and He desires to bless His children! Risking it all for the Kingdom of Heaven, for our God-given destiny (yours, mine, and theirs)! Yeah God!!!!

  11. Laura,
    You inspire me! Thank you for sharing this testimony of God's miracle provision for you that was the result of your partnership with the Father for a deep work He wanted to do in you.

    -Cynthia Leepper

  12. Thanks to everyone for your amazing thoughts to this blog. I love reading every single one.

    Each of your names were entered into a drawing to win an autographed copy of The Me Project by Kathi Lipp.

    Congratulations to Pam!