Stellar

The black desert sky became a canvas for brush strokes of glittering stars on a moonless night. Awe and wonder filled me and I became overwhelmed by the vast space of a universe in which I played a small role. The warmth of the campfire drew my gaze down as I watched my world visit, laugh, and play into the night.

Sleep soon beckoned us. And one by one we each took our place in the tiny, whimsical cabin. Darkness soaked into every crevice of our dwelling. Complete silence was interrupted only by the sound of the house fan pulling in the cool desert air. Rest was my hope—but not my reality.

 

“You are NOT stellar.”

What started as a whisper grew to a shout. The phrase became a perpetual cadence in my head. It traveled in circles through the places of my mind and dared to take root in my heart. I wasn’t sure I even knew what stellar meant—deep down I knew it was good. But someone believed I wasn’t.

That someone—was me.

This insanity kept my mind racing, my eyes open, and my heart fighting with the true Voice. Why did God insist on interrupting? Was He not aware of the areas I lacked? Did He not remember where I was deficient? Why would He challenge what I knew to be true?

“Lord, stop telling me I am stellar—when I know I am not.”

Just as the light of dawn peeked through the windows, fatigue from the battle hit, and I surrendered to my body’s plea for slumber. I could rest in one thing—I was not stellar. Apparently, I had won this battle with God.

Couple hours later I woke exhausted. Memories of the night lingered in a strange haze. What was stellar? Breakfast was put off for an important quest—a dictionary.

Stellar  \ste-lar\  (adj)

Like a star, as in brilliance and shape. Outstanding.

My eyes glazed over the star definition to the one that made sense. Outstanding? No. I still didn’t believe I was outstanding. Even more, I couldn’t believe I lost a whole night’s sleep over it.

“Lord, I don’t understand.”

God pushed the memory of the starry sky before me and led me to a scripture…

He calls each star by name. Psalm 147:4

“Lord, I seriously don’t get it.”

You are stellar—like a star in brilliance and shape.

I have called you by name to shine and sparkle in this world.
Everything I made is outstanding—including you.
It’s not because of anything you do or will do—it’s My identity within you.
You are stellar.
Believe Me above all others—You, Beloved, are My brilliant star.

I get it now.

Do you?

What are the lies you believe?

 Here or somewhere…be real.

Share your journey.

Relevant Worship

Indescribable by Chris Tomlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-zJHgaoVa4&feature=related

Who Am I? by Casting Crowns

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU_rTX23V7Q

Reflective Scripture

That you may show yourselves to be blameless and guiltless, innocent and uncontaminated, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and wicked generation among whom you are seen as bright lights, stars, or beacons shining out clearly in the dark world. Philippians 2:15 Amplified

He counts the stars and calls them all by name. Psalm 147:4 NLT

Just One Word

One word—

Faithful.

He just is.

Not because of anything I or you have done—no.

It’s just who He is.

He can’t not be—faithful.

Two words—

He knows…

He just does.

He knows the answer…

And when to let you in on it.

He’s never late—

He just isn’t.

Three words—

You’re not alone.

Never.

He can’t stand to be away from you.

So, He won’t move…

He will stay.

And walk the journey with you.

One moment at a time.

And soon,

very soon,

you will look back only to see the pathway you traveled

led you closer—to Him.

Is the pathway you’re on leading you closer to Him?

Here or somewhere…be real.

Share your journey.

Relevant Worship

Sometimes by Step by Rich Mullins

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEkiXIWA4ls&feature=related

You Are For Me by Kari Jobe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ffdbo9Hypo

Great is Thy Faithfulness by Israel Houghton
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jJDnummQ8w

Reflective Scripture

Great is His faithfulness;
His mercies begin afresh each morning.
Lamentations 3:23 NIV

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8 NIV

“I will never fail you.

I will never abandon you.”
Hebrews 13:5b NLT

Sonshine by Katie Coleman

Note from Laura

The Lord has a habit of asking me to release and surrender.

Seven years ago I had a baby at my breast and a beading tray on my lap. The Psalm 23 Bracelet© was a surprise hit and I was left to assemble the many bracelets for orders around the globe. Honestly, I knew I couldn’t do it alone. And yet I fought God (and my husband) at the idea of hiring someone to help. Who could possibly meet the expectations of a perfectionist? Certainly not the fourteen year old daughter of a dear friend! God asked me to trust Him and release my white knuckle grip on “my” creation and surrender to Him.

Release and surrender are two separate actions. God first wants our grip loosed and then our hands opened, so He may place something in them. In those moments many years ago, I received the peace and joy that comes from having my baby boy in my hands because I was willing to give a fourteen year old girl at chance.

This week is another one of those release and surrender moments. Every week for the last six months I have brought fresh new writings of the ongoing work God is doing in me with the hopes it will draw you closer to His heart. God has called me once again to release and surrender. This time it's my blog—at least for this week. Why? God’s spirit is moving through the “pen” of others as well. There are more stories to be read—I can’t live them all. This week I release my hold off of “my” blog and surrender to God who has graciously placed in my hands a new grasp on what it means to trust Him.

The following was written none other by that same fourteen year old girl. Katie Coleman is a beautiful young woman who has found a special place in my heart. Who knew this same girl would be my first employee, first guest blogger, and one to write a message relevant to my journey today?—God knew.

I know you will be as touched as I was by her story.

Sonshine

I am a happy girl.

I dance in a golden castle.
Sunshine reflects off every angle.
My skin feels the warmth.
I am a happy girl.

But there were dark days too, you know—days when there was no evidence of the sun’s rays.

This is how it began…

It was bright all around me. A different light shone—artificial—but still bright.

He was pretty brilliant himself. He had a smile that reflected the sun. And so I basked in his light, as he did in mine. But as I soaked in his glow, my focus shifted. Gradually, I spent less time in the real sunshine and more time with him.

But you can’t depend on someone else’s light forever. Doubts would soon come alongside hurts.  Questions and blame brought silence—and more pain. That’s when darkness fell. The responsibility of becoming each other’s light grew heavy. This was a suffocating darkness. This was holding each other under pitch-black water kind of darkness. And it horrified me to realize I had lost sight of the sun.

But this awareness brought hope. If I could remember the sun, it was something to hold onto instead of the pain. Creeping back to the sun became my only option, but that meant releasing—surrendering my claims on this boy. Leaving myself in the darkness…and alone. Being alone is almost worse than being without the sun—

Almost.

It was there, in my tar-like-alone-darkness, in which I waited. It did not take long. My eyes began to see sparks—things in me reignited. Laughter, innocence, and care free smiles were illuminated again as He, the Son, shifted back into my focus. Aches and pains remained, but at least I was closer and warmer next to my Son. I learned He never changes—He never moves. He is always ready to catch my world ablaze with His rays.

Releasing my grip on this boy and coming away from the artificial light was hard. Especially when I realized I was strangling him. But when I release, Light shines in.

I release, surrender, and repeat until light from the Son brings life to me.

As easily as I am distracted by shiny things, I know the Son outshines them all. Nothing compares to His rays. Nothing else can save me from the darkness.

Will you let the SONshine into your darkness?

Here or somewhere…be real. Share your journey.

Katie Coleman is a happy girl studying nursing at Azusa Pacific University in Southern California. She plans to attend graduate school to become a Family Nurse Practitioner. In fall of 2011 she will study global nursing in South Africa. She has a heart for women and children marginalized by society in need of physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. 

In His Gaze

Just a girl in pigtails—I longed to be loved.

His eyes locked on mine—my heart pounding in my chest. I wanted to look away—but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. There was something I needed to see—something I needed to feel.

Hold My gaze

I looked deeply and saw the lenses of His eyes change. I could see His heart looking back at me. I looked away unable to bare the intensity any longer. His love was too deep too, too powerful for a girl in pigtails.

The next morning He came near again. The music of His heart swirled in the air between us. Standing before me I heard Him whisper.

Hold My gaze

Tears came in floods. I was just a girl in pigtails. How dare I look into His eyes—let alone hold His gaze?

He said nothing. Placed His hands on my scrawny shoulders and waited. His touch brought a surge of warmth within me. There was something He needed me to see—something He wanted me to feel.

Courage met deep longing and I looked up and held His gaze. Within a moment the intensity of His gaze became like laser beams into my soul. His eyes said one thing—

 I love you

The truth of His love penetrated me instantly as deep powerful waves rushed through every part of me.

His laser beam eyes wrote Beloved Daughter  across my identity.

I was secure. I was loved.

It was something I needed to see—something I needed to feel.

I saw it in His eyes, and felt it in my soul.

His arms opened wide and I fell into Him. Clinging to Him as a girl in pigtails would do. Love embraced me. Love consumed me.

Wrapped in my Father’s embrace I knew who I was. I knew where I belonged—

In my Father’s gaze.

Whose gaze will you hold?

Here or somewhere…

             be real.

Share your journey.

 

Relevant Worship

Beloved by Kari Jobe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3c9oi5xNIpo

Beloved by Tenth Avenue North
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CUGTIWCFyo&feature=related

How He Loves by Kim Walker-Smith

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoC1ec-lYps


Reflective Scripture

The Lord God will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17 NIV

Somebody

Somebody needs to hear…

        God is faithful—to you.

He sees where you are. He knows what you need. He knows…

He knows where you’ve been and how you got here.

The same God who rescued you years past, is the same One who will rescue you today.

He has not forgotten you, left you, or given up on you.

And No...

                He’s not disappointed in you.

Somebody needs to hear…

God’s love is big.

It will never run out—or dry up.

He can’t stop loving you—He just can’t…

Because He is faithful.

Somebody needs to hear…

        God’s not done.

He has more for you.

More.

More healing.

More breakthrough.
More miracles.

Somebody needs to hear…

He’s got you. 

He really does.

Because He is faithful—to you.

I think the somebody is you—

I know the somebody is me.

Where do you need to see God’s faithfulness in your life?

Here or somewhere…be real.

Share your journey.

Relevant Worship 

Great is Thy Faithfulness by Israel Houghton
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jJDnummQ8w

You Are For Me by Kari Jobe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ffdbo9Hypo

Reflective Scriptures

Great is His faithfulness;
His mercies begin afresh each morning.

Lamentations 3:23 NIV

“I will never fail you.

I will never abandon you.”
Hebrews 13:5b NLT

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39 NLT

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