Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Dagger in My Heart

The dagger pierced my heart. I couldn’t breathe. Excruciating pain set in. I could feel the sharp point of the blade cutting deeper into my artery. What just happened? Where did it come from? Where was I? In a daze I looked down to see a menu in front of me. I remembered. I was at a restaurant celebrating my friend’s birthday. It was the server who unexpectedly thrust the dagger into my heart. ‘God help me’ was all I could muster, yet the words were inaudible. I felt it lodge deeper within me. ‘Please God’. I was losing oxygen quickly. ‘Please God. Help me’.

Help came. I first heard His voice. I looked up and saw Him. I could see the pain in His eyes over this terrible act He witnessed. He quickly began His work. There was only one thing to do. Damage from the stab of rejection could only be repaired by His holy acceptance.

You are Mine.

His voice was intense. He repeated it over and over.

My beloved, you are Mine.

I caught my breath. It was as if oxygen was administered and flowed through my veins. I felt life returning to me. It would not be until the next morning when the dagger was removed, but these words from my Lord were what truly sustained me through the night.

The next morning I arrived at the spiritual ER. The alarming discovery was what I thought to be a short dagger was in fact a mammoth sized sword wedged into my heart. It was determined it had been lodged inside of me for many years—possibly decades. The thoughtless words from the restaurant server only pushed the existing weapon deeper in. These unsettling findings led the two experienced surgeons to remove the life threatening object from my body at once. The moments were intense and unbearable. Just when I thought I would be overcome by the pain, my Lord brought peace. It was over. I was free from the dangerous grip of rejection on my life.

Soon I was breathing normal again. A warm healing balm was poured onto my open wound and the mending began. Sweet warm sensations were such a contrast to the lifetime of heartache. It was a feeling I have never before known. Ever so softly I heard the heavenly melody of His love singing over me restoring my wound from the inside out.

Before I knew it my wound was only a scar. I was released from their care and I walked out into the bright sunshine of the January afternoon. I put my hand over my heart. It was a painful process, but I was finally healed. I did not leave without a lifetime prescription. My life depends on taking daily doses of the Lord’s love and acceptance. And I am one who will take it everyday.

Will you?

Go to  http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=0291FNNU  to hear God’s love song over you

Oh How He Loves/ Kim Walker-Smith


  1. Whoa Mrs. Kramer! I felt the dagger for you and I don't even know what the offense was. Very intense writing. I need a dose of His love & acceptance too...daily! Thank you! Love that song by the way...

  2. Oh how I need daily doses of His love and acceptance. Sometimes those daggers are hidden until the most awkward moments but I am a firm believer He knows when to let them appear again so He can take them out. I praise the Lord you knew who the surgeons were and that He(the ultimate healer) would meet you at the spiritual ER. Blessed by your vulnerability and beautiful words.