Sonshine by Katie Coleman

Note from Laura

The Lord has a habit of asking me to release and surrender.

Seven years ago I had a baby at my breast and a beading tray on my lap. The Psalm 23 Bracelet© was a surprise hit and I was left to assemble the many bracelets for orders around the globe. Honestly, I knew I couldn’t do it alone. And yet I fought God (and my husband) at the idea of hiring someone to help. Who could possibly meet the expectations of a perfectionist? Certainly not the fourteen year old daughter of a dear friend! God asked me to trust Him and release my white knuckle grip on “my” creation and surrender to Him.

Release and surrender are two separate actions. God first wants our grip loosed and then our hands opened, so He may place something in them. In those moments many years ago, I received the peace and joy that comes from having my baby boy in my hands because I was willing to give a fourteen year old girl at chance.

This week is another one of those release and surrender moments. Every week for the last six months I have brought fresh new writings of the ongoing work God is doing in me with the hopes it will draw you closer to His heart. God has called me once again to release and surrender. This time it's my blog—at least for this week. Why? God’s spirit is moving through the “pen” of others as well. There are more stories to be read—I can’t live them all. This week I release my hold off of “my” blog and surrender to God who has graciously placed in my hands a new grasp on what it means to trust Him.

The following was written none other by that same fourteen year old girl. Katie Coleman is a beautiful young woman who has found a special place in my heart. Who knew this same girl would be my first employee, first guest blogger, and one to write a message relevant to my journey today?—God knew.

I know you will be as touched as I was by her story.

Sonshine

I am a happy girl.

I dance in a golden castle.
Sunshine reflects off every angle.
My skin feels the warmth.
I am a happy girl.

But there were dark days too, you know—days when there was no evidence of the sun’s rays.

This is how it began…

It was bright all around me. A different light shone—artificial—but still bright.

He was pretty brilliant himself. He had a smile that reflected the sun. And so I basked in his light, as he did in mine. But as I soaked in his glow, my focus shifted. Gradually, I spent less time in the real sunshine and more time with him.

But you can’t depend on someone else’s light forever. Doubts would soon come alongside hurts.  Questions and blame brought silence—and more pain. That’s when darkness fell. The responsibility of becoming each other’s light grew heavy. This was a suffocating darkness. This was holding each other under pitch-black water kind of darkness. And it horrified me to realize I had lost sight of the sun.

But this awareness brought hope. If I could remember the sun, it was something to hold onto instead of the pain. Creeping back to the sun became my only option, but that meant releasing—surrendering my claims on this boy. Leaving myself in the darkness…and alone. Being alone is almost worse than being without the sun—

Almost.

It was there, in my tar-like-alone-darkness, in which I waited. It did not take long. My eyes began to see sparks—things in me reignited. Laughter, innocence, and care free smiles were illuminated again as He, the Son, shifted back into my focus. Aches and pains remained, but at least I was closer and warmer next to my Son. I learned He never changes—He never moves. He is always ready to catch my world ablaze with His rays.

Releasing my grip on this boy and coming away from the artificial light was hard. Especially when I realized I was strangling him. But when I release, Light shines in.

I release, surrender, and repeat until light from the Son brings life to me.

As easily as I am distracted by shiny things, I know the Son outshines them all. Nothing compares to His rays. Nothing else can save me from the darkness.

Will you let the SONshine into your darkness?

Here or somewhere…be real. Share your journey.

Katie Coleman is a happy girl studying nursing at Azusa Pacific University in Southern California. She plans to attend graduate school to become a Family Nurse Practitioner. In fall of 2011 she will study global nursing in South Africa. She has a heart for women and children marginalized by society in need of physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. 

In His Gaze

Just a girl in pigtails—I longed to be loved.

His eyes locked on mine—my heart pounding in my chest. I wanted to look away—but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. There was something I needed to see—something I needed to feel.

Hold My gaze

I looked deeply and saw the lenses of His eyes change. I could see His heart looking back at me. I looked away unable to bare the intensity any longer. His love was too deep too, too powerful for a girl in pigtails.

The next morning He came near again. The music of His heart swirled in the air between us. Standing before me I heard Him whisper.

Hold My gaze

Tears came in floods. I was just a girl in pigtails. How dare I look into His eyes—let alone hold His gaze?

He said nothing. Placed His hands on my scrawny shoulders and waited. His touch brought a surge of warmth within me. There was something He needed me to see—something He wanted me to feel.

Courage met deep longing and I looked up and held His gaze. Within a moment the intensity of His gaze became like laser beams into my soul. His eyes said one thing—

 I love you

The truth of His love penetrated me instantly as deep powerful waves rushed through every part of me.

His laser beam eyes wrote Beloved Daughter  across my identity.

I was secure. I was loved.

It was something I needed to see—something I needed to feel.

I saw it in His eyes, and felt it in my soul.

His arms opened wide and I fell into Him. Clinging to Him as a girl in pigtails would do. Love embraced me. Love consumed me.

Wrapped in my Father’s embrace I knew who I was. I knew where I belonged—

In my Father’s gaze.

Whose gaze will you hold?

Here or somewhere…

             be real.

Share your journey.

 

Relevant Worship

Beloved by Kari Jobe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3c9oi5xNIpo

Beloved by Tenth Avenue North
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CUGTIWCFyo&feature=related

How He Loves by Kim Walker-Smith

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoC1ec-lYps


Reflective Scripture

The Lord God will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17 NIV

Somebody

Somebody needs to hear…

        God is faithful—to you.

He sees where you are. He knows what you need. He knows…

He knows where you’ve been and how you got here.

The same God who rescued you years past, is the same One who will rescue you today.

He has not forgotten you, left you, or given up on you.

And No...

                He’s not disappointed in you.

Somebody needs to hear…

God’s love is big.

It will never run out—or dry up.

He can’t stop loving you—He just can’t…

Because He is faithful.

Somebody needs to hear…

        God’s not done.

He has more for you.

More.

More healing.

More breakthrough.
More miracles.

Somebody needs to hear…

He’s got you. 

He really does.

Because He is faithful—to you.

I think the somebody is you—

I know the somebody is me.

Where do you need to see God’s faithfulness in your life?

Here or somewhere…be real.

Share your journey.

Relevant Worship 

Great is Thy Faithfulness by Israel Houghton
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jJDnummQ8w

You Are For Me by Kari Jobe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ffdbo9Hypo

Reflective Scriptures

Great is His faithfulness;
His mercies begin afresh each morning.

Lamentations 3:23 NIV

“I will never fail you.

I will never abandon you.”
Hebrews 13:5b NLT

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39 NLT

Congratulations to the following winners!

Kris Lozano-$25 Target card

Christine Urritia-$10 Starbucks card
Jenn Seagroves-Portable Art Kit

Winners please FB me!

A Dandelion Wish

Do you remember the days you would wish upon a star, throw a penny in a fountain, or blow the fluff off a dandelion? You wished for the impossible and believed all your dreams would come true. It was before you realized stars had no power, pennies were worthless, and dandelions became unwanted weeds in your yard. It was a time of innocence—where you could smell summer and touch dreams. Where logic and reason took a backseat and anything was possible. Do you remember?

Last Tuesday I met twelve women—twelve broken women who have long forgotten the days of innocence. They look to a woman of faith. One who can lead them to dream again—and still believes in Dandelion Wishes.

Lesley Glenn’s dandelion wish is a prayer for God to use art therapy to restore women to their true identity and walk in God's destiny for their lives.

This post is dedicated to Lesley and the twelve women I met that day.

_________________________

The storms of life crashed in all around them. Thunder claps shook their very existence. Hopelessness reigned over them day in and day out.  They had not weathered the downpour of rejection and abuse well. Their only shelter from the storm was in a rehab center just outside of town.

I let out an anxious sigh as I stood in the plain and worn out activity room of the rehab center. Assisting my friend I nervously set art materials on the tables. One by one, women, young and old, entered and occupied a seat— restlessly awaited the art therapy workshop to begin.

As the women began their first therapeutic art exercise I prayed silently God would calm my nerves. This was new territory for me. I knew brokenness, but not to this extent. Taking another breath I remembered what my friend said earlier, “Come with all your senses”. I wanted to numb my senses more than awaken them—it was only an hour…I can do this for an hour. I prayed a silent prayer and dared myself to allow God to open my eyes. “What do you want me to see, Lord?”

As I looked with eyes wide open the Lord showed me I’ve seen these women before. Not these in particular, but ones who were also beaten down from storms of life. Sadly, I saw them only in my peripheral view. I intentionally shifted my head to look away and pretended they didn’t exist.

I could no longer ignore them. Twelve of them sat in front of me—their presence demanding for their existence to be acknowledged. I felt the Lord’s heart beat for them. He gave me the courage to look them in the eye—and smile. The Lord’s love for each of them welled up in me as He quickened my heart—

They are no different than you.

It was true. These women were broken—just like me. Desperate for complete acceptance—just like me. Crying out for someone to believe in them—just like me.

The Lord’s words stayed with me. Remorse filled my heart as I realized somewhere along the way I labeled these broken women unworthy—even unworthy of a smile. My heart dropped. I know what it’s like to long for acceptance—and yet I did not extend it.

Forcing myself to stay engaged and present, I watched my friend talk to the women. She connected with them—looked them in the eyes and listened. They were drawn to her because she accepted and believed more for them.

The women continued to quietly create and bring color to the canvas of their lives—Colors of healing and hope. The storms of life may have had them down for awhile, but healing was at their fingertips. As I watched the movements of their hands move the colors back and forth on the page I was beginning to believe restoration was happening right before my eyes— 

and even within my own heart.

Do you accept unconditionally or selectively?
How do you  want to be accepted?

Here or somewhere…be real.

Share your journey.

Be sure to check out the right margin
of this blog for this month's contest!

Reflective Scripture

Psalm 18

Relevant Worship

What Love Really Means By JJ Heller

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgGUKWiw7Wk

Final Round

They were a bloody mess.

The opponents were no longer playing by the rules. Intentional blows below the belt brought more hostility than when the fight first began. Illegal head butts between fighters resulted in blurred vision and aching bodies.

The bell sounded signaling the end of the round.

Retreating to their respected corners they longed to rest and regain strength. It had been a long fight. Extended rounds left the rivals weak and flailing in their execution. Yet they refused to give up. Both wished to defeat their rival and become the champion.

The bell rang to begin yet another round…

The fighters stood in the center of the ring. Exhaustion overcame them. Neither opponent threw a punch.

Finally after some time the lightweight made the first move.

“We have to stop this—we’re on the same team.”

Skeptical of this new strategy the heavyweight circled around his opponent making defensive jabs of accusations, criticism, and blame.

The lightweight almost threw in the towel—

But instead made the riskiest move in any fight—

She became vulnerable.

Removing the boxing gloves the lightweight dropped the gloves to the ground, No defense. No protection. No strategy—only vulnerability.

Tears that once masqueraded as sweat flooded the face of the lightweight.

“I don’t like us anymore.”

The heavyweight was hit—straight to the heart.

Hope motivated her next move.

“I want us to be on the same team.”

Something welled up within the heavyweight. Instinctively, he removed and dropped his gloves to the ground. Suddenly, he couldn’t remember why he entered the ring. One thing for sure--it wasn’t a fight worth winning anymore. He reached to embrace his companion—the one he vowed to live for—not fight against.

With boxing gloves kicked aside, the couple embraced new hope as apologies were exchanged and promises made to heal.

Supportive coaches lovingly led them outside the ring—and back into their home, while the judges came to a unanimous decision.

Noting the couple’s unique techniques of attacking pride and defending unity while in the ring gave reason for Father, Son and Holy Spirit to declare them both—

C h a m p i o n s.

Will you drop your gloves?
Will you be vulnerable?

Will you be a Champion?

Here or somewhere…be real.

Share your journey.

Dream Killer

She was a dream killer.

At the first sound of one giving voice to an impractical dream she drew her weapon of doubt and lunged toward the dreamer with sharp words to pierce.

Logic and reason crafted the careless words that slipped easily from her lips, “It will never work,” she said.

The dreamer paused and locked his gaze on the dream killer. With tenacious confidence he replied, “Yes it will.” The bright eyes of the dreamer never faded. Not even once. She tried to kill the dream-

But the dream lived.

Shocked the dreamer was not discouraged by skepticism the dream killer pulled out her next weapon. Watching the dreamer’s movements she waited for the mark of failure. Pulling back the arrow of “I told you so”, she waited for the precise moment to release the blow.

But the arrow never left the bow. The dreamer worked with focused attention pursuing his dream. The weapons of the dream killer never fazed him, nor slowed his progress. All things were in place for the dream to take flight and in time his dream soon became a reality.

The impossible became possible.

The dreamer exuberantly celebrated what he always knew could be. The lies of the dream killer bared no weight compared to the dream that lived within him. His eyes danced with joy as he looked the dream killer right in the eye and spoke the last word,

“I told you so.”

The power of belief in those words sent the dream killer to her grave—forever.

Have you ever dared to dream?

—it’s what I live for.

Have you ever attempted to kill one?

—yes…last week.

This post is a true story of that account.

Which role will you choose?

Here or somewhere…be real. Share your journey.

Deeper Work

Colors faded.

Movements ceased.

Sounds silenced.

All was still and quiet—in her heart.

She was aware of it for months. Soothed by the calm, yet disturbed by a greater need. There was something more—something deeper. Striving proved to bring no joy. And so she pondered for weeks until finally—revelation. The something more had to come from Him—but at her appeal. With unwavering trust she whispered…

“It’s time Lord.”

He immediately moved on her words to bring to pass the one thing guaranteed to bring new life to her heart—healing.

“Lord, it’s time for a deeper work.”

He had been waiting for this. Waiting for the wisdom He deposited into her seasons past to take root and bloom. He was waiting for her to call on Him for deeper soul work.

His agenda was short, yet purposeful: Expand her capacity to hold new facets of His love and reinforce her identity in Him.

He worked swiftly to align the work her heart needed.

He calculated the level of healing needed to her pain tolerance, assigned angels to minister to her, and people to walk with her.

Stepping back to reassess the plan He looked at His Beloved. Delight welled up within Him. He was proud of His daughter. He knew this would be far more significant than any other season of refining because it was at her call—not His. Now here she stood, His little girl, fully grown declaring courageously His deeper work to be released within her.

Standing proud, Father God resolved all things were in place and ready to be released save one thing—His promise.

Silently and lovingly He wrote His vow across her heart.

I will be with you—always.

Her hand touched her heart. She knew. She knew He was there. She knew He would never leave her. She was confident He would walk through each heartache and tear of her healing. He was with her.
He was present.

But He was also future.

He stood in her future just as much as He stood in her present. This time more than any other she understood the power of her Lord being with her now and calling to her from the soon to be. This deeper work must be done to bridge the two time zones closer. Her destiny depended on it.

The work began.

Brokenness unveiled.

Tears flowed.

Pain gripped.

Heart throbbed.

Sobbing on the floor she could not form into words the weight she felt. Although He stayed silent-- she knew the truth. She was not alone. He was with her. As much as she wanted to run from the process—she stayed.

She stayed. She breathed. She waited.

As He healed.

Will you cry out for deeper work in your life?

Relevant Scripture

The LORD will guide you always;
   he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
   and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
   like a spring whose waters never fail. Isaiah 58:11

Never will I leave you;
   never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

Relevant Worship

Drink of You by Laura Rhinehart

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=effMUHPCrNE